Stress: when it stops being normal and how to manage it

What is stress?

Stress is the body and mind’s reaction to pressure, change or a threat. It can be acute, when it’s short and goes away once the situation passes, or chronic, when it lasts for weeks or months because of things like work, money or difficult life changes.

Normal stress and stress that’s become a problem

Normal stress comes from something specific and goes away when the situation is resolved. Stress becomes a problem when:

• it doesn’t go away even after the situation has passed,
• it shows up almost every day,
• it keeps you from sleeping, concentrating or enjoying things,
• it affects your work, your health or your relationships.

It’s easy to get used to living with stress and stop noticing it. That’s why it’s worth pausing now and then to ask yourself how you’re really doing.

Signs of stress

In your body

• Headaches or tension in your neck and shoulders.
• Trouble sleeping or constant tiredness.
• Stomach problems.
• Getting sick more often.

In your emotions

• Getting irritated or angry easily.
• Worry that won’t go away.
• Sadness or feeling overwhelmed.

In what you do

• Eating more or less than usual.
• Withdrawing or avoiding other people.
• Trouble concentrating or making decisions.
• Using alcohol or other substances to relax.

The stress of living far from home

For many people living in another country, stress comes from several places at once: work, money, language, family far away and the feeling of having to handle everything. That constant pressure can go unnoticed for years. Recognizing it is the first step to managing it.

How to manage stress day to day

There’s no single formula, but these habits can help reduce stress:

• Move. Walking about 30 minutes a day can help you feel better.
• Breathe. Take a few minutes to breathe slowly and deeply when you feel tense.
• Protect your sleep. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time.
• Limit caffeine. Too much coffee or energy drinks can increase tension.
• Write down how you feel. A journal helps you sort out your thoughts.
• Focus on what you can do. Make a short to-do list and celebrate what you get done.
• Talk to someone you trust. Sharing what you’re going through lightens the load.
• Set limits. Learning to say “no” is also a way of taking care of yourself.

When to talk to a therapist

You don’t have to wait until you’re at your limit to ask for help. Talk to a professional if:

• stress doesn’t improve with your own efforts,
• you feel you can’t keep up with your responsibilities,
• you have trouble sleeping, concentrating or enjoying things,
• you’re using alcohol or other substances to cope.

If you’re having thoughts of hurting yourself, call or text 988.

In therapy you can identify what’s overloading you and learn ways to manage it that fit your life. At dafne you have virtual sessions in Spanish with a therapist licensed in your state. Learn more about therapy for trauma, stress and grief.