Migratory Grief: The Emotional Impact of Leaving Your Country

This is called migratory grief. In this guide, we explain what it is, how it can feel and what you can do to cope.

What is migratory grief?

Migratory grief is the emotional process of dealing with the losses that come with migrating. A systematic review published in 2024 in the journal Frontiers in Psychiatry describes it as grief arising from those losses, which can be personal (family and friends), material (home or income) or more abstract, such as status, identity, the ability to communicate in your own language or the future you had planned. Unlike the death of a loved one, many of these losses aren’t recognized by others, which is why they are sometimes carried in silence.

What you lose when you migrate

Migratory grief isn’t one loss, but many at the same time:

• Your family and friends. Not being able to hug your parents, watch your nieces and nephews grow up or be there for important dates.
• Your language. Living in another language can be exhausting and make you feel you can’t express who you really are.
• Your culture. The customs, celebrations, food and ways of relating to others.
• Your land. The landscapes, smells, climate and places where you grew up.
• Your place in society. Many people go from having a recognized profession to starting over from scratch.
• Your community. The sense of belonging to a group that understood you without explanation.
• Your safety. For many people, the journey or the first years bring risk, fear and uncertainty.

Psychiatrist Joseba Achotegui coined the term “Ulysses syndrome” to describe the intense, prolonged stress migrants can experience when these losses pile up under very difficult conditions. His aim was to show that this distress is a human reaction to extreme circumstances, not an illness.

A grief that comes and goes

Unlike other kinds of grief, migratory grief has no clear end. What you left behind still exists: your family is still there, your country is still there. That is why the grief can come back again and again: during a phone call, on a special date, when someone gets sick, when a baby is born in the family or when you go back to visit and feel you no longer fully belong anywhere.

It is also common to feel mixed emotions: gratitude for what you have achieved and sadness for what you left behind. Both can exist at the same time.

When you can’t go back

For many people, migratory grief gets heavier when it isn’t possible to return, even for a visit. Years go by and birthdays, weddings and farewells are missed. Some people lose their parents or grandparents without having been able to see them again. These losses pile up and are often lived alone, far from the people who share the pain.

Keeping family relationships going from a distance also carries its own weight: guilt for not being there, pressure to support family financially, misunderstandings that come up over the phone or the feeling that life back home is moving on without you.

Signs of migratory grief

• Sadness or homesickness that comes up often.
• Feeling that you don’t belong here or there.
• Guilt for leaving or for not being with your family.
• Tiredness, trouble sleeping or aches without a clear cause.
• Irritability or constant worry.
• Isolating yourself or feeling lonely even when surrounded by people.
• Idealizing your home country or, on the contrary, rejecting everything that reminds you of it.

The 2024 review found that, in every study it analyzed, migratory grief was linked to psychological distress, and in several of them, to depression.

How to cope with migratory grief

• Acknowledge your losses. Naming what you miss is a first step. What you feel is valid, even if your decision to migrate was the right one.
• Keep your roots alive. Cook your food, listen to your music, celebrate your holidays, speak your language at home.
• Build community where you are. Groups from your home country, your church, other parents at school or neighbors can become a new support network.
• Look after your relationships from a distance. Agree on times to talk and share everyday moments, not just urgent news.
• Give yourself permission to adapt at your own pace. Becoming part of a new culture doesn’t mean losing your own.
• Talk to someone. Sharing what you feel with someone you trust or with a professional eases the weight.

When to seek help

There is no minimum amount of time you have to wait. It may help to talk to a therapist if sadness or anxiety won’t let up, if it is hard to function day to day, if you feel very alone or if you have experienced losses you haven’t been able to grieve. If you have thoughts of hurting yourself, call or text 988 right away.

A Spanish-speaking therapist who understands the experience of migrating can support you without you having to translate your emotions or explain where you come from.